You can see exactly what search terms people use to find your Youtube channel or website. Some of these are pretty hilarious. My video How to Keep Your Dog Entertained and Out of Trouble comes up as the number one Youtube search result for “how to get your dog high.” My day was totally made when I realized that.

And some of the search terms speak to universal experiences that all dog owners can relate to:
“new puppy regret”
“new puppy sleep deprivation”
“got a new puppy can’t get anything done. “

Some are disturbing:
“dog teen makeout”

And some are just weird:
“putting your puppy in the laundry”

However, most are in the form of questions, so I thought I’d answer a handful of those questions today. Most of these questions require more detailed answers than I can provide in this video/post, so you will find links below to other 3LostDogs videos and articles that will provide the full answers you seek.


“Are Labrador retrievers supposed to be crazy as puppies?” LOL. Is the sky supposed to be blue?

“Why does my bulldog puppy get psycho hyper?” Because he’s a puppy.

“Why are puppies insane?” I don’t know. I’m sure there’s some genetic, evolutionary reason for it but I don’t know what it is.

Is My Puppy CRAZY? A Short Guide to Puppy Behavior


“New puppy! Now what?” Congratulations! Your biggest and most important tasks for the next few months will be house training and socialization. Advice for both at the links below.

A Beginner’s Guide to Adopted Dog Ownership
43 Tips for New Puppy Owners
I Just Got a New Puppy – What Do I Do With It?
Housetraining 101: The Basics


“Do you have to let your 4 month old puppy sleep in your bedroom?” No, but it does help minimize the stress that your new puppy is experiencing. He’s in a new place and away from his mother and littermates for the first time in his life. Sleeping near you is reassuring.

“What do little puppies do?” They poop and they pee and they bite.

“How do you get a new puppy to like you? Yahoo answers.” You play with it, feed it, be kind to it, and give it time to adjust. As an aside, please don’t get your dog care information from Yahoo Answers. The amount of bad advice that comes out of that site is mind boggling.


“Can I crate my dog for 8 hours?” No. Well, I’m sure you are capable of keeping a dog crated for eight hours but if your questions is SHOULD you crate your dog for eight hours, no. (Sorry. Sometimes my inner grammar Nazi breaks out of its cage)

“Is it awful to crate a puppy all day?” Yes.

“Does crating a dog make them over hyper?” Not inherently. But crating them too much might. I imagine if you were locked in a box all day you’d end up with a lot of energy to burn, too.

“Are dog crates good or bad?” Dog crates are good. But the phrase “too much of a good thing” definitely applies.

Dog Crates: The Good, the Bad, and the Ugly


“How do I keep my dog from guarding his food?” The reason your dog is guarding his food is because he’s insecure and he’s afraid someone’s going to steal from him. You have to condition him to believe that people approaching his food bowl is a good thing, not a bad thing.

The Real Solution to Resource Guarding and Food Aggression


“Is dog growling always a bad thing?” No. Growling is never ever a bad thing. Growling is not aggression, it’s a dogs way of avoiding aggression. The last thing you want is a dog who stays silent when he’s uncomfortable and goes straight to biting.

The Truth About Growling Dogs


“Why would a dog yawn and have sweaty paws?” Sounds like one stressed out dog to me.

Do You Recognize These 6 Signs of a Stressed-Out Dog?


“What can you give your dog to chill him?” I don’t know… cold water?


“How do you get your dog to listen to you?”
“What do you do with a hyper dog?”
“How do you get your hyper dog to calm down?”
You buy my training kit, “Give Your Dog a Brain: How to Get Your Out of Control Dog to Chill Out, Focus, and Do What You Say.”

Or you check out these free resources:
Dog Behavior Problems: Hyper Dogs


“Leave food out multiple dogs?” Probably not a good idea. In fact I wouldn’t recommend leaving food out for a single dog. It can lead to guarding and overeating and boredom and all kinds of unpleasantness.

Keeping the Peace in a Multiple Dog Household


“How to stop my dog’s destructiveness?” Your dog is destructive because he’s bored. Play with him. Exercise him. Give him lots of things to do.

Solving Dog Behavior Problems


“What is the number one dog that will turn on you?” Chihuahuas. Shifty little bastards, they are.

Chihuahuas Are Evil: How to Keep Your Pint-Sized Pooch From Turning on You

Damn. That actually sounds like it would be kind of cool… but I digress.

Do a Google search and you’ll see statements like this:

“The truth the pet experts don’t want you to know!”

“Top ten dog training secrets revealed!”

These messages have more to do with clever marketing techniques than clever dog training techniques. If you do a little digging into the methods that these gurus claim are so secret, they always turn out to be the same stuff that the rest of us use. (Either that, or it’s something so off-the-wall that it prompts reactions like, “WTF? Dude, were you high when you came up with that?”)

The bad news is that there is no secret training technique that will turn your dog into a perfect angel in ten minutes.

The good news is that all the information you need to turn your dog into a perfect angel, with a little bit of work, is out there. And the truth?

The real truth?

The experts really do want you to know how to use it.

Now if you’ll excuse me, I need to go buy a trench coat.

I’m running 3LostDogs.com’s first ever Twitter contest, and all you have to do is retweet this message for your chance to win.

The prize:

Give Your Dog a Brain is a training kit/program designed to help you get your out-of-control dog to chill out, focus, and do what you say. All the training techniques and exercises in the program are based on the work I’ve done with the most hyper, crazy, wound up dogs there are: dogs who have spent weeks or months living in cages in animal shelters. Believe me, if this stuff works with these dogs, it’ll work with yours.

You’ll get an ebook, training videos, and more. Check out the details here.

What do I have to do?

There are two ways to enter:

Click the retweet button on this tweet.

OR

You can “manually” retweet it by copying and pasting this message into a tweet:

RT @siriusgeek Got a hyper dog who’s driving you crazy? Retweet this message to win a copy of Give Your Dog a Brain http://dft.ba/-oFt

The Rules:

Pretty simple:

• One entry/tweet per person
• No creating multiple accounts to enter

The Deadline:

The winner will be drawn Monday, May 9th, 2011.

Most of your responses fell into four categories, so I came up with four possible guide ideas. Now, I need you to vote for your favorite one:

Dealing with Distractions - “My dog obeys perfectly – in the kitchen with no distractions!” Learn how to get your dog to listen to you even in an environment where everything else is much more interesting. I’ll teach you the slightly sneaky method of putting distractions to work FOR you.

Calming Reactive Dogs - How to help a dog who freaks out at the sight of strangers, other dogs, people in Santa hats, etc. Learn how to identify your dog’s “I’m about to lose it” threshold, and work with it so that Fido doesn’t get to that out-of-control point. We’ll give your pup some impulse control and teach him to chill out and focus.

Puppy Manners - Learn how to curb obnoxious puppy behaviors like jumping, biting, and harrassing your other pets. We’ll talk about socialization, the most important factor in raising a well-behaved dog. I’ll show you what you need to do and how to do it.

Living with Multiple Dogs - One dog is easy, two dogs are a bit of a challenge, three dogs are a pain in the- *ahem* Anyway, I’ll teach you what the three lost dogs have taught me about living with a pack. Learn how to pick a “compatible” new dog and introduce him to your current dog(s). I’ll give you some pointers on maintaining a a peaceful household.

Click here to vote

I got a lot of good suggestions for a lot of different guides, but alas, I am one person and can only work on one at a time. However, I will be using each and every response you sent me to create future guides, videos, and blog posts. So don’t worry if yours doesn’t get picked for this first project.

This will only be vote-able for the next 48 hours, so no procrastinating! Get your vote in here

If this year is anything like last year, my local Animal Care & Control will pull dozens of extra dogs off the streets in the week following Independence Day. They won’t be scrawny “street” dogs. They will be well-groomed, well-fed, well-loved family pets. Dogs who simply mistook the noisy celebrations for the apocalypse, freaked out, and ran away from home.

Even dogs with no history of phobias, anxiety or escape attempts have been known to lose their marbles on the Fourth (and New Years, and any other holiday celebrated by blowing things up).

To keep your pup from joining the ranks of newly-minted shelter dogs, here is a last-minute plan for prepping Fido for the coming not-apocalypse:

1. Make sure Fido is wearing proper ID – Snap a tag with your name and phone number to your dog’s collar and check that the collar is secure. Also, is your dog microchipped? If not, you might want to see if you can get that done at your local shelter this week. Many shelters/pounds will chip your pet for $15 – $25. This is a really last minute thing but well worth it. Microchipping is the best way to make sure that you’ll be reunited with your pet if he ever gets lost.

2. Prepare an escape-proofed area - like a bedroom, bathroom, or laundry room. Put Fido’s crate/bed, toys and water in here. Make sure that there’s nothing important he can chew up. If Fido is not used to being in this room, spend the next couple days letting him hang out in here, so that he doesn’t think it’s weird when you lock him up here Monday night.

3. Prepare some food-filled toys – To keep your dog calm, you’ll want to give him something to keep his mind off the loud noises. What better way than to make him work for his dinner? Put together 3-5 (or more if you’re feeling ambitious) “smart toys:” Put peanut butter in a Kong (freeze it to make it last longer), fill an old sock with kibble. Click here for more smart toy ideas.

4. Exercise Fido a couple hours before celebrations start - What’s worse than an anxious dog? An anxious dog with energy to burn. Take him for a walk or play fetch. Nothing too strenuous (you don’t want him passing out), but 30-40 minutes of moderate exercise is good.

5. On the evening of the Fourth… As you’re getting ready to head out to your festivities, hide the smart toys in the dog-proofed area. One toy should be easy to find, the rest should require some work. Before you leave, stick Fido in his room. Key word: “casually.” If Fido senses that you’re stressed, he will freak out long before the first firework is launched. Be relaxed and upbeat: “Okay, buddy, time to go to your room. Oh, look! There’s a toy on the floor! With treats! Looks fun. Okay, Fido, seeya later!” Close the door securely behind you. If people will be in and out of the house, make sure that they know not to let the dog out.

Photo credit

So I’m going to be working on a new project for 3 Lost Dogs, and I need you to tell me what that project is.

I want to create something a bit more in depth than a regular blog post or video – I’m thinking of doing a new free mini-ebook or video series. I’ll be spending more time on this than usual, so I want to make sure that it will be as useful as possible for ya. So: What free dog training guide can I make for you?

What dog-related help do you need? Maybe you need help housetraining your dog, maybe you’re overwhelmed by your new puppy, maybe your dog refuses to obey commands when he’s distracted, etc. Whatever you need help with, let me know.

*best infomercial voice* This is your chance to get your dog problems solved, so be sure to take advantage of this limited time offer. Take the survey here: What Dog Training Help Do You Need? The survey is very short – should only take you a minute. If you’re not already on my email list, be sure to provide your email address so I can send you project updates (I promise not to spam you or anything lame like that).

The survey will be open until July 10th or so. Thanks for your help!

Meanwhile, I’m trying to keep a straight face. I’m usually tempted to laugh and say, “me too! Tell me when you find this magical creature.” Instead I bite my tongue and politely explain why they should maybe lower their expectations. In an effort to combat this Fairy Tale Dog syndrome, here are some things that shelter/rescue workers and dog trainers everywhere would like people to understand.

1. Puppies are so irresistibly adorable for a reason
Pure survival. It’s so we don’t toss them out on the street when they drive us insane with all the biting, chewing, peeing, and crying at all hours of the night. Puppies are hard work, boys and girls. You will be sleep deprived. You will be up to your ears in pet stain remover. You will lay awake at night wondering if you’ve met your puppy’s socialization and training requirements for the week (at least, you should).

If puppies actually LOOKED like the little gremlins they are, there is no way we would ever work this hard.

2. Most first-time dog owners would be better off with an older pup or adult dog
Did that last bit make you nervous? It should have. Taking on responsibility for any dog is a big commitment, but young puppies around 2-4 months of age are an enormous commitment. It’s easy for a beginner to get overwhelmed. Older pups and adult dogs make wonderful pets without the risk of puppy-owner burnout.

3. Dogs make TERRIBLE gifts
Thinking of surprising your child/spouse/fill-in-the-blank with a furry bundle of joy? Don’t. Just don’t. You are setting yourself up for trouble. A dog is not a Wii. When the recipient gets bored or just doesn’t connect with the dog, you will be the one responsible for the care and training. Instead of a surprise gift, involve your giftee in the process. Discuss it with them, make sure everyone is on the same page, and let them pick their own dog.

4. Dogs are really expensive
Even if you get one free or cheap from a friend or shelter. For the next 8-15 years, you’ll be spending money on dog food, pet supplies and vaccinations. And what happens when Fido gets sick, hit by a car or swallows something he shouldn’t? Before you get a dog, consider how you will pay for unexpected medical bills.

5. Dogs do not do well in solitary confinement
Dogs need to be with their family. If you work or are at school all day, will the dog be left alone? It isn’t fair to leave these highly social creatures to fend for themselves for ten hours a day. All kinds of behavior problems will arise. Either work out a way for someone to visit with the dog in the middle of the day, or consider a cat instead. Or perhaps a hamster.

6. Dogs shed
Even the short haired ones. Once you have a dog, hair EVERYWHERE becomes as certain as death and taxes. You’ll find dog hair on your good clothes, in your food and up your nose. If this thought makes you ill, consider an American Hairless Terrier, poodle, or goldfish. If the idea of dog hair EVERYWHERE is annoying but tolerable, then you can have a dog, just stay away from the double coated types. Dogs like German shepherds, huskies, akitas, malamutes, etc are SERIOUS shedders. Try a thin- or curly-coated breed.

7. Dogs bark
Especially if left alone all day. See No. 5 above. Dogs bark when the doorbell rings, when they hear other dogs barking, and when they’re bored. If you’re really lucky, you’ll end up with a dog like mine who likes to bark at contrails.

8. Your dog will pee/poop/puke on your carpet
When you get a dog, you will almost certainly need to housetrain him yourself. In the meantime, there will be accidents. And your dog will occasionally eat something bad and puke or get diarrhea. And he’ll do it in the worst place possible, like on your antique rug or on the newly installed carpeting. This is one of those weird laws of the universe.

9. Dogs need socialization, training, and exercise
Dogs are not born knowing how to be a perfect member of society. They do not automatically know that they should come when you call them. They do not always understand that the guests at your party are people that you know and invited and not, in fact, scary monsters. And dogs of all breeds need exercise. Letting them run around in the backyard is not enough.

Want a well-behaved dog? You gotta work for it! Proper socialization, training and exercise are crucial.

10. Dogs who get bored get destructive
If you don’t give your dog something to do, she will find something to do. Usually, it’ll be something you don’t want, like digging, tearing up the sofa or barking at contrails. This is especially true if you get one of those dogs who come with a strong work ethic: herding breeds like border collies, German shepherds, Australian shepherds, cattle dogs; working breeds like dobermans, rotties, or Portuguese water dogs.

So, as you’ve probably worked out by now: Don’t get a dog without putting in some serious thought. Do your research. Learn about the characteristics and requirements of your chosen breed. Learn as much as you can about training and socialization. You can even take a trial run. Sign up with your local shelter (which you can find here) as a volunteer or foster parent. Volunteers get hands-on experience with a variety of dogs. Foster parents are usually given puppies who are too young to be adopted, or adult dogs who need to take a break from the shelter system. This lets you take a dog home for a couple weeks and get a taste of what it takes to be a dog owner.

Dog ownership takes work. The good news is that if you’re willing to put in the work, you will be rewarded with a fun, loyal, awesome new friend. Unconditional love, and all that.

Hey dog trainers, rescue people and battle-scarred dog owners: What else should first-time dog adopters know? Let me know in the comments.

Want more? Check out 14 Quick and Easy Ways to Keep Your Dog Occupied

Music by Jason Shaw at Audionautix.com