By Jake Buvala – Last updated January 7, 2026
You got a puppy, and the experience has turned out to be a lot more challenging than you expected.
I mean, you knew getting a dog would be hard work, but holy crap, you were not prepared for THIS.
Sound about right?
Let me tell you how I know that.
Many years ago, I wrote a blog post called “Thinking of Returning Your New Puppy to the Shelter/Breeder?”
It was about what to do when you’ve totally HAD IT with your new dog. I shared my experience raising my first puppy, and just how frickin’ hard it was. I was pretty sure I’d ended up with the worst puppy in the world.
That post was different from the dime-a-dozen practical yet boring “how to train your dog” articles I’d been writing up until that point. It was less about dogs, and more about humans and the monsters in our heads.
I honestly didn’t think anyone would read it.
Boy, was I wrong.
Turns out, a lot of people experience serious doubt and despair when they get a new dog
I received a steady stream of emails -more than I could keep up with- from people pouring out their hearts in response to that post.
“Oh thank God!” they said. “I thought I adopted the worst puppy in the world, too. I’m so glad I’m not the only one.”
No, you’re not the only one.
Those emails inspired me to take my dog training career in a new direction, specializing in helping people overcome the “What The **** Was I Thinking?!” phase of dog ownership (WTFWIT, for short. We’ve also seen people start calling it the “puppy blues” in recent years).
So yeah.
I’ve worked with a lot of people in your position, and I can tell you that…
What you’re going through is much more common than you’d think
What’s amazing about the people we work with is how similar they all are. From all over the world -a remote cattle station in Queensland to a brownstone in Brooklyn- from all kinds of backgrounds, from teenagers to retirees, everyone’s stories are pretty much the same.
They feel like their lives have been turned upside down. They’re dealing with sleep-deprivation and social isolation served with a generous helping of self-doubt.
Everyone shares the same fears and frustrations.
And everyone thinks they’re alone.
To show you just how not-alone you are, here are some of the most common statements we’ve heard from struggling puppy parents:
“I’ve had my dog three days and I can’t take it anymore.”
The ol’ 72-hour phenomenon. Half of the messages we get are from people who’ve had their dog for three days.
I get it. The first few days can be really jarring. Your normal, familiar daily routine gets blown to smithereens as you make room for this whole other living being – whose own life just got blown to smithereens, too. On the bright side, looks like the two of you have something in common already!
See also:
- What to do With a New Puppy: An Uncomfortably Honest Yet Reassuring Guide to the First Week
- After you Adopt a Shelter Dog: What to Expect, What to Do, and Mistakes to Avoid
“I wanted a dog my whole life. I did tons of research but I was not prepared for THIS.”
Getting a dog is a bit of a culture shock, and the only way to really understand it is to do it. This oh shit sensation does not mean your research was in vain or that you’re doing anything wrong.
See also:
- 7 Unexpected Challenges that Can Make Even The Most Prepared Puppy Parent Want to Throw in the Towel
- We Talked to Thousands of People Who Returned Their Dogs. Here’s What They Wish They’d Known
“I had dogs growing up but I was not prepared for THIS.”
Maybe your last dog truly was an angel who could do no wrong. Or maybe it just felt that way because your parents did most of the work raising your family’s dogs. Or maybe you’ve forgotten how tough the early days with your last dog were – time heals all puppy bite wounds, after all.
Even professional dog trainers can have a rough time with their new dogs. We may be better equipped than non-professionals to handle tricky behavior issues, but we still have mortal human brains. Human brains hate change.
“I don’t love this dog. Aren’t you supposed to love your dog?”
Indeed, that’s usually the goal… but not right away! Sometimes people do fall madly in love with their new dog on the first day, but in most cases, it’s a process. Bringing your new dog home is only the first step. You still have to build the relationship.
“I’m a prisoner in my own home.”
The thing about raising puppies or adding a rescued dog to your life: if you do it right, it takes a lot of time. The more work you put in now, the better things will be later.
And yes, that can mean being stuck at home or missing out on some other things for a while.
See also: Help! My Puppy Freaks Out When I Leave the Room. Will I Ever Get My Freedom Back?
“The thought of doing THIS for the life of the dog makes me want to curl up in a ball and die. I just want my life back!”
“THIS” can refer to a lot of things.
Potty training, 24/7 supervision, keeping the puppy from biting the toddler, feeling trapped because the little fuzzball screeches when left alone for two seconds, dealing with the constant existential crisis that for some reason this experience triggers for all of us, or even just the pressure of being responsible for another living being for the next 10-ish years.
But as long as you do the work, all of THIS is temporary.
Eventually, the puppy will be house trained. They won’t require a tenth of the supervision they require now. They’ll sleep through the night, the existential crisis will abate (haha just kidding, the existential crisis never stops).
As for that whole “I want my life back!” thing, I have a hunch that you won’t feel that way a year from now. What we hear from most dog owners who make it to the other side is that their pup has become a beloved member of their family, and they can’t imagine life without them.
“Nothing is really going wrong but I JUST CAN’T TAKE IT ANYMORE.”
We often hear this from people who say that training’s going fine, the puppy sleeps at night, the kids love him, etc.
Nothing’s wrong.
So why is everything wrong?
This may feel weird, but it’s a surprisingly common symptom of the WTFWIT phase.
Now, I’m only an armchair psychologist, not a real one. So take what I say about human behavior with a grain of salt. But my theory is that human brains hate disruption – and the early days with a new dog disrupt every aspect of your life. You now have to actively think about all your little routines and habits that used to run smoothly on autopilot.
Plus, raising a new dog is a lot of emotional hard work, which can leave you just as exhausted as physical hard work.
So it’s natural for your brain to slam the brakes and screech, “NO! DO NOT WANT.”
See also: Puppies Aren’t Just “Hard Work:” What No One Tells You Before You Get a Puppy
So does this mean that I can guarantee that with a little patience, by golly, everything will be fine?
Of course not. There are definitely cases where everybody would be better off if the dog found a more appropriate home.
And I’m not saying it’s normal to for everything about puppy-raising to be a struggle; there should be some fun in this process. If training them stresses you out or doesn’t work, or if their behavior makes you (or your other pets) completely miserable, something has to change. Simmering tension doesn’t magically get better with time.
But I am saying that it’s totally normal to have that panicky, overpowering “I have to get rid of this dog NOW” feeling. It doesn’t necessarily mean that this was a mistake.
It’s just your brain going into self-preservation mode, wanting things to go back to normal so it can space out in front of Netflix.
See also: Is “give it time” really the solution to the puppy blues?
