Last updated: October 19, 2025
Welcome to puppy parenthood!
First of all, this isn’t your typical generic puppy preparedness post.
I’m not just going to tell you to puppy-proof and buy chew toys. I’m going to talk about the monsters in your head and the weird stuff no one warns you about.
This a collection of hard-won wisdom about what really matters in the first week with a puppy, and what doesn’t.
Hi! I’m Jake, by the way. As dog trainers and shelter staff, my wife Erin and I have spent years in the trenches with thousands of new puppy parents. So we know exactly what tends to trip people up. The surprises that blindside them, the thoughts they’re afraid to admit to having, and the mistakes that make life harder than it has to be.
We also know the simple things that make the biggest difference. The things that help you catch your breath and set you up for a lifetime of adventure with your new best friend.
Onwards!
The very first thing to do: a weird exercise that will make your experience better
This next bit might make me sound like a grouchy buzzkill, so to be clear, I:
- Think puppies are delightful!
- Think raising a puppy is delightful!
- Am genuinely excited and happy for you!
Got it? Okay cool. So the first thing you should do:
Take a moment to put yourself in your puppy’s shoes and recognize what a crazy stressful experience this is for them.
The uncomfortable truth about what this is like for your puppy
Going to their new home is not a fun experience for most puppies.
They’re a toddler who’s been taken from their family. They’ll never see their mother or siblings again. They’ll never see their home again. And if they came from an animal shelter, that’s a whoooole other layer of fear and instability.
Now they’re surrounded by strangers in a strange place. New smells, new sounds, new faces, new rules that don’t make any sense.
Seriously. Really sit with this for a minute.
It’s an experience that would break a lot of adult humans, but puppies are supposed to just roll with it. We expect them to cuddle us, bond with us, love us instantly, be grateful for us rescuing them, be cute and entertaining, sleep through the night, pee in the right spot, and oh yeah, pay attention in obedience class.
Again, I’m not saying getting a puppy is a bad thing. But in our excitement (or our puppy blues), we have to honor the experience of the tiny being who’s going through this with us.
We tell all our students this: Let empathy be your guide.
Not just in a warm and fuzzy sense, but as an actual strategy to keep you from getting stuck or overwhelmed. When you lead with empathy, a lot of this stuff becomes way more intuitive. And it becomes easier to take the setbacks in stride.
When you’re eager to do all the activities and training and jump into a life of adventure (which is great!), remember they haven’t even caught their breath yet.
When you get impatient and frustrated with their behavior, remember how young they are.
When you’re a little sad that they don’t want to cuddle or listen to you, remember that they don’t know you. You’re not family.
Yet.
WHAT TO EXPECT WHEN YOU BRING HOME A PUPPY
You might get a honeymoon phase
This is a brief, magical time when life is beautiful. The puppy is surprisingly calm. So sweet and gentle!
This rarely lasts, but the first few hours or days are often like this. Sparky seems calm and well-behaved, but as they settle in, they become… less calm and well-behaved.
Please note: It’s not that they’re being “good” on purpose. They’re not trying to manipulate you. It’s just that they’re not doing much of anything, because they’re in shock. Understandable, seeing as how life as they knew it just exploded.
As they relax and become more confident, they start doing more things.
Eventually, Sparky destroys her first shoe. Or nips your toddler on the nose. Or scares the cat into hiding. Or realizes that you’re her new mommy, and what do puppies do when they need mommy’s attention? They scream.
Which often leads us to:
The What the **** Was I Thinking phase
WTFWIT, for short. This is the part where everything is terrible and you think you’ve made a huge mistake.
It’s sometimes called the “puppy blues,” but that’s far too cute of a title, imho. It doesn’t capture the real desperation and despair of the experience.
Not everyone goes through this phase. But enough people do that this has become my specialty as a dog trainer.
See: Thinking of Returning Your New Puppy to the Shelter/Breeder? Please Read This First
You’re gonna think they have separation anxiety. They probably don’t
Pretty much every new puppy parent thinks this at some point. You take a few steps out of sight and the puppy screams like the world is ending. You try to sleep, and they wail in the crate. You leave the room for ten seconds, and they have a meltdown.
It’s understandable to freak out a bit. “Oh no, my puppy has separation anxiety! I’ll never leave my house again! I’VE RUINED MY LIFE.”
But what you’re seeing is normal. Puppies need to be taught how to handle alone time and confinement.
Being alone (ESPECIALLY being alone in a crate) doesn’t come any more naturally to puppies than not peeing on the carpet or knowing what the heck “heel” means.
The truth is that “alone time training” is as much a standard part of the puppy-raising process as potty training, obedience training, and socialization.
But it’s one of those things that flies under the radar and doesn’t get talked about much. So even the most well-prepared puppy adopters may not know they have to prepare for this.
They get left scrambling to do damage control as their screechy little bundle of joy throws a huge wrench into the logistics of their life.
We hear things like:
“I live in an apartment. How am I supposed to go to work if my puppy’s gonna cry all day and piss off my neighbors?”
“I work from home and I can’t concentrate because my puppy cries constantly.”
“I’m getting seriously overstimulated from all the noise and I don’t think I can deal with this forever.”
If puppy adopters understood that this was a thing, they could factor it into their plans just like they factor in house training and obedience class.
So don’t panic. It’s not separation anxiety. Think of it like a rite of passage on your puppy parenthood journey.
See: Help! My Puppy Freaks Out When I Leave the Room. Will I Ever Get My Freedom Back?
Nothing is going to go the way you plan or expect
I thought I was the most well-prepared first-time dog owner on the planet.
Until about day two with my first puppy.
Turns out, she hadn’t read the same dog training books I had and I actually had no idea what the hell I was doing.
The puppy isn’t going to behave the way you expected. They won’t act like your old dog. They won’t respond to training the way the demo dogs in the tutorial videos do. They’re not going to care about the daily schedule you worked really hard on (see below).
This isn’t a bad thing. It’s just a thing. Just life.
See also: 7 Unexpected Challenges That Can Make Even The Most Prepared Puppy Parent Want to Throw in the Towel
It’s also going to feel different than you expected
You’re not going to be happy all the time.
Sometimes you’ll feel frustrated, bored, sad, regretful, resentful – and guilty about feeling resentful.
Makes sense. I mean, this is an emotionally intense experience. Those tends to drag all kinds of complicated feelings out of the woodwork.
Many of us find that it amplifies whatever is already there. Depression. ADHD symptoms. Grief.
Now, that doesn’t mean you shouldn’t get a dog if you have shit going on. I would never have gotten ANY of my dogs if that were the case.
A lot of life’s most meaningful experiences aren’t buckets of fun at every moment, after all. It just means you gotta be prepared to ride the waves instead of fighting them – or worrying that the low moments mean you’re not cut out for this.
See also: Puppies Aren’t Just “Hard Work:” What No One Tells You Before You Get a Puppy
WHAT TO DO FIRST
This is stuff that should ideally be done before puppy comes home, but can still be done after.
Set up your puppy base camp
Puppies have this charming tendency to leave a trail of destruction in their wake. Chewing everything. Peeing on everything. Flinging themselves teeth-first at the cat or older dog with reckless abandon.
That’s why you need a system for keeping them contained, not just a crate or a playpen tucked neatly in the corner. Those are super helpful, but remember, Sparky is going to cry whenever they’re separated from you.
So do yourself a favor and section off an area that the two of you will spend the most time.
Ideally, the living room/lounge room. This way, when you collapse on the couch out of exhaustion, you don’t have to get up three seconds later because the pup ran off into another room to do who knows what.
You might be able to do this with baby gates, depending on the layout of your home. If your house is open-floorplan style, you can use a playpen opened up like a fence.
Basecamp should be set up in a way that allows the puppy to make good choices and prevents bad ones.
Puppy-proof the area. Remove (or block access to) anything you don’t want chewed and anything that might hurt them. Like shoes, books, kids’ toys, cleaning supplies, video game controllers, and electrical cords.
You can use a bitter-tasting deterrent spray, like Bitter Apple, on anything valuable that can’t be removed, like corners of furniture. Just test it first in a small area to make sure it doesn’t stain.
Gather your puppy survival kit
We highly recommend a crate and/or a pen as part of your puppy containment system. Both, if you can swing it. A crate gives you a totally secure containment option when you’re not around to supervise.
See: Dog Crates: the Good, the Bad, and the Ugly
Chew toys. Lots of ‘em, and fill puppy basecamp with them to make good chewing choices easy. Get a variety (squeaky, plush, Nylabone-type, etc) so you can figure out what kind your puppy favors.
Puzzle toys. At least a couple Kong-style ones that you can stuff with goodies to keep the pup busy.
See: Puzzle Toys: A Beginner’s Guide to The Most Useful Dog Toys Ever
Training treats. Use soft treats chopped into pea-sized pieces.
A good puppy-pee remover. You need an enzymatic cleaner like Nature’s Miracle. Most other types of cleaners don’t do a good enough job of eliminating the scent. If the pup can still smell the mess on the carpet, she’s likely to go in the same spot again.
Many paper towels. Practical, and also: having a big collection of cleaning supplies can make it easier to take the inevitable accidents in stride. It tricks your brain into not beating you up for perceived failures.
Establish your village
The people who struggle the most with their new puppies are the ones who try to do it all on their own.
See, if you do it right, raising a puppy takes time, energy, and a level of patience and emotional regulation that no mortal human can sustain 24/7.
You’re gonna need backup.
Your “village” might include:
✅ A partner, friend, or family member who can take over dog duty so you can shower or nap.
✅ A trusted dog sitter, neighbor, or friend who can take the pup out to pee when you’re at work.
✅ “Grandma’s house” – a friend or relative who wouldn’t mind babysitting.
✅ A supportive, non-judgy online or local community where you can vent, ask questions, and commiserate with others on the same journey as you. (*ahem* Hi, hello)
✅ Professionals you can turn to when you need solid advice, not advice from Google’s sketchy AI or that one coworker whose cousin’s uncle claims to have been a military K9 trainer. Pros like your vet, or your friendly neighborhood dog trainers (*ahem* hi, hello). Just keep in mind that vets are not trainers, and trainers aren’t vets.
The puppy adjustment period can make you feel like you’ve lost your freedom and your sanity. Your village is what helps you get both back.
Whether you need practical help (“Can you watch him for two hours so I can buy groceries/shout into the void?”) or emotional support (“PLEASE tell me I’m not the only one who sometimes hates their puppy”), you shouldn’t wait until you’re in crisis mode to ask for backup.
Put together a rough draft of your puppy’s daily schedule
Emphasis on rough draft. Because no plan survives contact with a baby animal.
A lot of people, having heard about the importance of routines for puppies, spend way too much time thinking about it and stressing themselves out over it.
Some sort of daily routine is definitely worth having. They help puppies settle in and feel secure. But having the perfect routine written in advance isn’t going to make or break your experience.
Take 20 minutes to sit down and write out a tentative routine.
You don’t need to create a rigid schedule with every hour of the day accounted for; flexibility is important, too. But it’s good to have some things that happen at the same time every day. Like:
- Wake-up and first potty break
- Breakfast
- Dinner
- Bedtime
Write this schedule in pencil, not ink. Metaphorically speaking. Then treat the first week as your trial-and-error week.
Like, you might carefully select 7am for wake-up time, and then discover that Sparky won’t stay in bed a minute longer than 5:50am. (One of my puppies did this. Sounding the alarm at 5:50am. Not a moment sooner or later)
When you treat your schedule as a rough draft, you give yourself permission to adapt instead of spiral.
THE FIRST WEEK
The strategy for success
If you’ve been googling “what to do with a new puppy,” you’ve probably found a thousand checklists that make it sound like you’re kicking off a boot camp:
- Teach these Top 10 Most CRITICAL Commands!
- Start crate training!
- Master leash walking!
- Prevent separation anxiety!
- Expose them to 100 new things before next Thursday!
- And oh yeah, DON’T SCREW UP!
It can make you feel like you’re falling behind before you even start. But I promise you’re not. You can relax.
Here’s what actually matters in the first week: re-establishing some stability as the dust settles.
Your life just changed in a big way. Your puppy’s life just changed in a big way. He has no idea yet that you’re the best thing that’s ever happened to him. So before you worry about obedience or training milestones, you have to make him feel safe and understood.
Think of this week less like a training program and more like an orientation period. Showing Sparky what life in your home is like. When things happen, where the bathroom is, and that you are predictable, trustworthy, and a source of good things.
Go slow and keep it low-key. I know all your friends and relatives and neighbors will want to meet the puppy. They should definitely be encouraged to meet her, but not yet. You don’t want to overwhelm her.
She needs to get to know her new family before you add a bunch of other faces. Tell everyone that they’re invited to meet her next week. In small groups.
Be nice to yourself. Like I said, you’re going to have lovingly-crafted plans that crumble when hit with reality. You’re going to have weird feelings. You’re going to be too exhausted to be the best version of yourself.
All of that is okay.
See also: Pre-Puppy Jitters: When The Information Overload Starts to Freak You Out
Now let’s talk about how to put all this into practice.
(This post is already long enough as it is so I’m not gonna go into a ton of detail, but our online puppy training program has all the step-by-step guidance your heart desires)
What to do on the first day with your new puppy
- Your very first stop: the pup’s bathroom area.
- Offer them some water.
- Let them meet all the humans in the household. Humans sit down (on floor, if possible) and let puppy go to them.
- If the pup shows interest in food, you can offer a snack or a meal.
- That was a lot to process! Puppy needs some quiet time to rest now.
Throughout the day
Watch that baby like a hawk. Use supervision and your trusty management setup to prevent them from chewing anything they shouldn’t or harassing your other pets. Most puppies will be pretty dazed on day one, though, so they probably won’t get into much trouble.
Try to avoid potty accidents, but expect them to happen. The first time the pup pees on the floor is when you’ll probably start getting that surreal “oh ****, this puppy thing is actually happening!” feeling. This is normal.
Take them to the bathroom frequently. At least once per hour while they’re awake.
Throughout the first week
Watch out for Hyper Attack Mode
This is what we like to call the times when puppies seem to lose their tiny minds and go completely feral. They might start biting like crazy, tugging on your clothes, or frantically searching for things to destroy. And everything you try just makes it worse.
People often describe it as “possessed,” “defiant,” or “my puppy’s attacking me for no reason.”
As shocked and dismayed as it can make you feel, don’t worry: it’s not aggression and your puppy doesn’t hate you.
Hyper attack mode is what happens when a baby animal’s stress, excitement, or exhaustion hits critical mass. It usually means one (or more) of the following is going on:
- They’re overtired. The canine equivalent of a toddler meltdown.
- They’re overstimulated. Too much play, chaos, noise, or touching.
- They’re under-exercised. All that energy has to go somewhere.
- They need a snack or potty break. Physical needs can turn angels into gremlins real quick.
- They’re finally feeling safe enough to let loose. Which, while inconvenient, is actually a good sign.
- It’s around 6pm. The puppy witching hour is real.
When it happens, don’t take it personally. This is just how puppies behave when they have a need that isn’t being met.
The best response is to stay calm and help them meet the need. Puppy Survival School goes into a ton of detail on how to stop (and prevent) Hyper Attack Mode, but it’s a good bet that little Sparky desperately needs a nap.
See also: I’ve Tried Everything and My Puppy Still Misbehaves: 9 Surprising Reasons Why Nothing Has Worked
Speaking of naps:
Prioritize sleep
One of the reasons puppies can get so wild and obnoxious is because they’re chronically sleep-deprived.
Make sure their environment is comfortable and conducive to sleeping: dark, fairly quiet*, and a pleasant temperature. You may want to put a blanket over their crate.
And when Sparky sleeps, let him be. Which I know is hard, because a sleeping puppy is probably the most adorable creature known to man, but do your best to resist touching.
*Quiet, but maybe not too quiet? In some cases, it helps to allow a little bit of white noise to help your puppy sleep. Like the TV on very low, or turning on a fan.
Start house training
There are about nine elements for potty training success in our program, but here are the top three:
- Close supervision to prevent accidents. Watch her like a hawk when she’s roaming the house.
- Frequent trips to the bathroom. Puppies lack the physical control to “hold it” for very long.
- Rewarding the pup for good potty behavior. When she goes in the right place, praise and offer a few treats.
Don’t worry about alone-training juuust yet
Yes, I know I just said puppies need to be taught how to be alone. And it is an important skill. But unless you have to go back to work in a few days and have absolutely no other choice but to leave your puppy solo for hours, the first week is not the time to focus on it.
Right now, the best thing you can do for their long-term independence is help them feel safe and secure.
The number one thing that protects against the development of separation anxiety isn’t obsessively practicing being alone – it’s forming a secure attachment. A strong relationship with a caregiver (that’s you) who always has their back.
So for now, don’t stress about sneaking out of the room or staging mini departures. Keep them close, comfort them when they’re upset, and let that bond start to grow.
Catch them in the act… of doing something right
“Alright, random internet dog trainer man. If I’m not supposed to focus on training this week, how do I start teaching my puppy good habits?”
Fantastic question, random blog reader. Like this:
Throughout the day, pay attention to your puppy and notice when she does something you like. Then give her a reward. A little piece of food, usually.
This can take some mental reprogramming at first. I mean, we’re so used to waiting to catch the dog doing something we DON’T like. Which is completely understandable; as busy people with busy lives, as long as our dogs aren’t actively misbehaving, they tend to fall off our radar.
But imagine this scenario:
A family is in the living room together, watching TV. The puppy is on the floor in a low energy mood. Maybe she just woke up from a nap.
The four-year-old child is also sitting on the floor. The puppy is not jumping on her, and not biting her. Which is FANTASTIC AMAZING behavior! But no one is paying attention to the puppy.
Until the puppy gets bored and decides to chomp on the four year old.
Suddenly, the child is making fun squeaky noises and everybody is paying attention to the puppy.
What kind of behavior should you reward?
Anything you want to see more of. Including but not limited to:
- Playing quietly in their pen
- Interacting with children in any way that doesn’t involve jumping or biting
- Being near the cat without chomping him
- Being near your older dog without chomping him
- Approaching you on his own without being called (this is called “checking in,” and it’s a good training foundation to build on)
- Choosing to lie down instead of wandering the house
You can also play some puppy training games
These are casual games that give you a fun, no-pressure way to start teaching good manners, get their energy out, and help them bond with the family.
Here are a few to get you started: 4 Puppy Training Game Ideas
Schedule a vet visit
The first rule of adopting a pet: take them to the vet ASAP. Your vet can tell you what vaccines your puppy needs, whether she has worms, and alert you to any possible health concerns.
But most importantly, this is an opportunity for socialization. If it’s in your budget, try to have a first “establishing care” appointment where no vaccinations or invasive handling happens. It’s just about starting off on the right foot with one of the other most important relationships in your dog’s life – her doctor. Make it positive: feed her treats, maybe play with a toy in the exam room.
Play!
The best for last. This is why you got a puppy in the first place, right? Plan on a lot of playing. It’s the best way to exercise and bond with your pup.
Aside from the previously mentioned puppy training games, here are some ideas:
Fetch
A classic. To teach your pup to play, get two toys. Throw or roll one, and when Sparky grabs it, wave the second toy around so that she’ll come running back. When she gets to you, gently take the first toy, and throw the second one.
Flirt pole
A weird name for a fun toy. Picture a giant cat teaser toy – basically a dog toy on a rope. Great for puppies who need to be encouraged to chase toys. For some reason, even dogs who don’t like fetch often love this game. You can buy these online or make one yourself.
Chase
Get down on the pup’s level, gently shove him around, then run away. Let him catch you, and praise and offer a toy or treat when he does. This teaches beginner come-when-called skills.
Puppies love to play, but they have very short attention spans. Hold several 2-10 minute play sessions throughout the day.
In the first weeks, some puppies will be too shy or overwhelmed to play. That’s okay. Proceed at her pace, and she’ll come around eventually. It took my shy, very serious puppy Jonas several days before he’d play with me. He eventually became very enthusiastic about fetch and tug-of-war.
If you think your puppy is more fearful than normal, or barks at strangers, check out this article: How Our Online Puppy Training Courses Can Help With Your Scared or Reactive Puppy
BEYOND THE FIRST WEEK
Once you’ve survived the whirlwind of week one, it’s time to:
- Start expanding their world and getting them ready for whatever life throws at them with a solid socialization plan
- Get some of your freedom back and build their confidence with short periods of alone time
- Begin teaching the communication skills that make life easier for both of you
The same principles that got you through the first week will carry you forward: empathy, clear communication, and a focus on preventing problems before they start.
That’s what our PEACE method for puppy-raising is all about:
- Prevent the Chaos
- Enrich Their Life
- Acknowledge the Good
- Communicate Clearly
- Empathy First
It’s the framework we use to help puppy parents raise the adventure buddy of their dreams. Without harsh corrections, guilt trips, or impossible standards.
You’ve already started putting those pieces in place this week. Now it’s just about learning how to build on them.
If you want some guidance (and a community of people who get what you’re going through), you’ll find it all inside our Puppy Survival School in the 3 Lost Dogs Academy. We’ll teach you exactly how to use the PEACE method so you can go from “omygod what was I thinking” to “okay, we’ve actually got this.”
